Hello everyone. Here's an email I received just now which focuses
on an eternal question - just what role should his mom play in your relationship?
My fiance seems to worship his mother and will
follow her advice and ignore my efforts to help him. How do I show him that I care for him as much as she does? Thank
-- Barb (not her real name)
Hi there Barb,
Well, you said a mouthful in only two sentences. So here goes.
You say your fiance seems to worship his mother and follow her advice.
In a case like this, if you don't have his mom's seal of approval, you
can forget it. Trust me, honey, I know from personal experience. Let's hope that his mom thinks you're wonderful.
Plan on treating her very well for life if that's the pecking order in your relationship... I'm serious. You should get used
to that now if you're going to marry him.
If a man's mother has a huge influence on his adult life, you might not
be very happy with him in the long run. Is this engagement for real - do you have a date set for your wedding? (If not,
it's very iffy...)
Also, you say he "ignores your efforts to help him."
A man is not going to fall in love with you because you're helpful! Quite
the contrary, in fact! He is not going to appreciate you more. You may be falling into the mother role yourself!
That's not what he needs from you. Be the woman in his life but not the mom. Sounds like he's already got one of those!
Wishing you all the best, Barb!
Lots of women have been involved with or married to men whose mothers
were so influential with the man that he really had not emotionally grown up.
Has this - or something similar - ever happened to you? Has the
Mother-In-Law factor made an impact on your relationship?
To everyone reading this - if you'd like to share a comment or a story
about the MIL Factor when it comes to men, then please share one in this guestbook:
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