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Relationship Problems - Readers Give Relationship Advice



Readers, Your Thoughts are Requested! 
 
Readers' Opinions
from Mimi Tanner's email column

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Hello everyone,
 
I received an email from a guy reader whom I'll call "Ben" (not his real name). I won't tell you anything identifiable about Ben, of course, but from what I can tell, to be in his line of work, you have to have a lot going for you, including intelligence and being in good physical condition.
 
Ben has asked for some feedback from readers, and I'm turning this over to you to offer your thoughts.  Here is what Ben wrote (this is taken from a series of emails in our correspondence):
 
"What is your advice on finding a woman who will not play games nor ignore the nice things I do for her?  I want someone who appreciates me and the nice things I do for them.  It's demeaning.
 
"I've been meeting women at work.  I'm in my early 30's.  I'm very interested in one woman and want to show her how special she is to me without going overboard or coming on too strong.  At the same time, I want her to appreciate the nice things I do for her.  She's the air that I breathe and she makes me feel alive!  I don't want to lose her, nor push her away. 
 
"What if she doesn't call me or respond when I send a card.  I'm having difficulty reading her signs.
 
"People tell me I need to 'play the game.'  I don't like playing games.  I tend to be the 'Realistic' one in relationships and don't play games.  It seems women are the ones who do.
 
"Any advice on what I should do... give in to playing foolish mind games or being myself... being true, knowing what I want and who I am? 
 
"I'm hoping you can forward this question on to women to see what their response is and reply back to me. Any advice you can offer would be greatly appreciated!"
 
Thanks,
"Ben"
 
Dear Ben,
 
Before I turn this over to readers for their interesting comments, it's important to say that when you send a card to a woman, she should acknowledge it in some way.  The only acceptable reason for a woman NOT to acknowledge a card is if she has already shown a lack of interest, and a man is not accepting this.  Playing Hard to Get does not mean that you don't say "Thank You" for a card. It doesn't mean that you don't return calls, either.  That's just common courtesy.
 
You sound like a great guy.  I have my own thoughts on how you can best attract this woman or any woman.  But for now, I'll leave it to those who want to contribute here.  I expect I'll be getting a LOT of requests for your contact information, Ben!!  (Sorry, girls, no can do...)
 
With love,
Mimi Tanner
 
Please Share Your Thoughts With Ben in the Guestbook Here!

  

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