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Long Distance Relationships - Can They Ever Work?

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Long Distance Relationships - Can They Work? What Are The Pitfalls?  Read The Comments From Readers Here:

submitted on July 21, 2006 8:37 PM EDT
Your first name only: Rhoda
Your age: 29
Your U.S. State if any:
Your Country: Nigeria
Single, Dating, Not Dating, Married? dating
Long Distance Relationship Comments: It neither here nor there , the secret is finding a responsiblr man who is integrity personified,also little issues can seem huge ang get blown out of proportions whereas a simple look into the eyes of your mate and telling them its ok would fix things up.However I do believe in it, I have been in a long distance relationship about four months now,I have patience lots of it.Rhoda

submitted on July 21, 2006 7:32 AM EDT
Your first name only: temitope
Your age: 26
submitted on July 10, 2006 4:01 PM EDT
Your first name only: Whit
Your age:
Your U.S. State if any:
Your Country: Jamaica
Single, Dating, Not Dating, Married? Single
Long Distance Relationship Comments: As far as i see it all relationships are hard and they all require lots of work. Some even become weary and stressful. Long distance relationships however require more compromise, respect, hope, faith and above all true love; not infactuation which dies after a couple of months or years.

submitted on July 8, 2006 5:36 PM EDT
Your first name only: shell
Your age: 50
Your U.S. State if any: Texas
Your Country:
Single, Dating, Not Dating, Married? dating
Long Distance Relationship Comments: Difficut and frustrating - lots of long phone calls. You need to be totally committed and trusting, and have money to travel!

submitted on July 5, 2006 10:57 PM EDT
Your first name only: Caroline
Your age: 14
Your U.S. State if any: Virginia
Your Country: USA
Single, Dating, Not Dating, Married? Single
Long Distance Relationship Comments: I think that long distance relationships are good for the mind, because sometimes you may be stressed by having to be around your guy or girl so just talking on the phone, iming, emailing, mailing, etc is easier because you don't always have to see them or sometimes respond at once...

submitted on July 3, 2006 7:14 AM EDT
Your first name only: Joni
Your age: 42
Your U.S. State if any: Indiana
Your Country: USA
Single, Dating, Not Dating, Married? Not Dating
Long Distance Relationship Comments: My 1 1/2 year LDR just ended. We were madly deeply in love. We still love each other with all our hearts. It was wonderful. But, with 250 miles between us, it just couldn't work. We tried to see as much as possible of each other, but it just wasn't enough. Neither of us can move for at least 8 years, due to our children and their other parents. I think if we were closer, maybe it would have worked. But 4 hour drive was just too much.

submitted on July 3, 2006 2:37 AM EDT
Your first name only: Has
Your age: 20
Your U.S. State if any:
Your Country: Lebanon
Single, Dating, Not Dating, Married? in LongDistanceRelatioship!!!!
Long Distance Relationship Comments: L.D.relationships r really hard ones n they need really """caring&love&patience""" in order 2 keep d relation alive,,as 4 me dat am in L.D.R now which is killin me,actually we used 2 b in same country,known each other for couple of months, then for getting work opportunity outside he had to leave:( now we both r sooo waiting for the contract period to end cause its really hard and really killing us!n besides he’s doin his best to be able to take some time off to come n visit bt its not dat easy!!:s Bt u know as much as we're suffering now but we have somethin to look forward to and be patient to wait for..that in a year or two we'll end-up together forever,,and i know and hope all this love we have n all the time we'll wait for will worth it all:) i wish all couples d best,,and hold on to ur loved ones,,ciao ciao

submitted on July 2, 2006 7:57 AM EDT
Your first name only: fara
Your age: 25
Your U.S. State if any:
Your Country: philippines
Single, Dating, Not Dating, Married? dating
Long Distance Relationship Comments: absence makes the heart grows fonder..is this true?

submitted on June 13, 2006 4:37 PM EDT
Your first name only: sharron
Your age: 33
Your U.S. State if any:
Your Country: u.k
Single, Dating, Not Dating, Married? single
Long Distance Relationship Comments: i too had a long distance relationship with a man who was "afraid of commitment" becuase he had been hurt before and wanted time to think, like our girl he also met someone but she got pregnant and had a termination. A stupid fling i think he called it (uh huh!!) i am not sure whether i would have another ldr after this.. I have tried being friends but have fallen into all the NO NO situations and now I think its time to call time .. any help would be great ..thanks

submitted on June 8, 2006 8:28 PM EDT
Your first name only: Nikki
Your age: 18
Your U.S. State if any: California
Your Country: USA
Single, Dating, Not Dating, Married?
Long Distance Relationship Comments: I was in a long distance relationship for almost 2 years.He lived in VA (when he wasnt out at sea bc hes in the Navy)&I lived in CA.We hated being away from e/o but we loved e/o 2 much2end it.The good times were really good but the bad times were really bad.We talked on the phone a lot&emailed&saw e/o as much as we could.We ended up getting engaged&making plans 4 our future.Unfortunately,1day he sent me an email saying that we shouldnt be together anymore bc he couldnt be there4me as much as he should be.I was heartbroken but eventually I started dating again.(After being apart4a while,he wants2get back together&wants me2move2Japan with him.:)I dont know if I will or not.)I never thought I would b able2handle being in a long distance relationship..especially1that long&that far away.But I did it.I dont regret it at all.It was worth it.I ended up becoming a stronger person bc of it.Though I dont regret it,(at1st)I thought I wouldnt ever want2b in another long distance relationship.But..that was until I met an amazing person in Az.We are kind of dating now but havent really talked about exactly what we are yet.Hes only a6hr drive away&we talk every day.We get along great&always have a good time whether its in person or on the phone.I dont know what the future holds4us but I know that he makes me happy&thats what counts.Long distance relationships CAN work.But in order 4 LDRs 2work,both people have2want it 2&put out effort2make it work.In a way I think LDRs are better bc you get2know the person more than if they were w you in the same town.When youre in a LDR you tend2talk about deeper things than when youre in a regular relationship.It also makes you appreciate the times you get2spend together a lot more because youre not around them all the time. Though there are good things about LDRs, they can also be painful, difficult&can definately suck at times.Whether or not you choose2have a LDR is up2you&how much youre willing2go through2 b w that person.

submitted on June 7, 2006 2:08 PM EDT
Your first name only: Bilinda
Your age: twentysomethig
Your U.S. State if any: nj
Your Country: usa
Single, Dating, Not Dating, Married? single
Long Distance Relationship Comments: I think that Long term relationships can work, but as with any other relationship, it depends on the level of commitment of the parties involved. In the aforementioned example, it definitely seemed like she was more into him that he into her. Even though this scenario happens all the time, it's a little bit harder when the person is some distance away because as they say "distance makes the heart grow fonder."

submitted on June 7, 2006 12:05 AM EDT
Your first name only: Terri
Your age: 36
Your U.S. State if any:
Your Country: Taiwan
Single, Dating, Not Dating, Married? Married
Long Distance Relationship Comments: I had a long distance relationship before. We lived together for a year when I studied overseas. Then I came back home to start my career after graduation. We would call each other and write letters. Everything seemed ok until one day I got a "collect call" from a girl I didn't even know. But she called me by a special name only my boyfriend knew. Anyway, she said she just got married to my boyfriend, and asked me to stop contacting him. Can you believe this? He didn't even have the nerve to tell me. I never trust long distance relationship since then.

submitted on June 6, 2006 10:12 AM EDT
Your first name only: Robin
Your age: 35
Your U.S. State if any:
Your Country: United Kingdom
Single, Dating, Not Dating, Married? Married
Long Distance Relationship Comments: Long distance relationship should be no different than a relationship with someone you live with - as long as the relationship is healthy and there is trust. A man (or woman for that matter) can cheat whether they are 5 miles away or 5000 miles away. Trust is a very important thing in relationships of any distance. Two people cannot be together all the time - and if a partner can't be trusted, it is truly amazing what they can get away with while you are not together. If there isn't total trust, the relationship is not worth it. I speak from experience - I was married to someone who was a drug addict. I didn't know if the car would still be in the driveway and the television missing when I returned from an hour long shopping trip. I am now married to someone I started a long distance relationship with (USA - United Kingdom). I never worried about what he was doing in the year we were apart - and still don't now that we are married.

submitted on June 6, 2006 6:44 AM EDT
Your first name only: Ali
Your age: 23
Your U.S. State if any: none
Your Country: Ireland
Single, Dating, Not Dating, Married? single
Long Distance Relationship Comments: I was in a long distance relationship with a guy I was crazy about before he ended it without warning saying he coudn't do it again having had one for over a year. I just feel if he liked me enough he would want to do it... I was willing!!

submitted on June 6, 2006 5:39 AM EDT
Your first name only: Linda
Your age: 30
Your U.S. State if any:
Your Country: Ghana
Single, Dating, Not Dating, Married? Married
Long Distance Relationship Comments: Long Distance relationship is a hell but always works out when there is understanding. I will use mine as an example, i am in one of the African countries and my husband is in Europe any time we talk on phone and his in a good mood it like wow.... very sweet but when he miss me and calls he is like am giving you up to the end of the month if you dont show up in Europe, you forget the marriage, and i get worried when i hear things like that, but when he thinks about why am in africa he know is going to benefit us some years to come. So i think it to be with our relationship what ever it will take.

submitted on June 6, 2006 4:41 AM EDT
Your first name only: Shivani
Your age: 25
Your U.S. State if any:
Your Country: United Kingdom
Single, Dating, Not Dating, Married? In a long distance relationship!
Long Distance Relationship Comments: Mimi, I have been reading your emails for a while and have been waiting for this topic to crop up. From my perspective I have had a couple long distance relationships... one of which did not work out and another few dates that were just not worth the effort. Wich leads me to say that effort is the biggest thing in a long distance relationship, where you want to be with someone - it takes no effort to meet up and travel the distance to see each other. It should not be an effort to pick up the phone, write emails (short ones!) or send a flirty text message to your fella. The easiest thing in a long distant relationship for a woman is to be able to come accross as not clingy - the distance helps! Which in turn makes you more attactive to your man. The biggest risk in a long distance relationship has to be absence - as they say 'absence makes the heart grow fonder', but it can also make the eyes wonder. I think my boyfriend has got it just right, we see each other every couple of weeks, and even if we were in the same city, I travel so much with my job I would only see him a weekends. He makes the effort to call often and vice versa, and I know he is not checking up on me because we have allowed a significant bond of trust to keep us together. Its not the easiest situation to be in, but i would say that we both have felt that each other is worth it!

submitted on June 6, 2006 3:41 AM EDT
Your first name only: RitaR
Your age:
Your U.S. State if any:
Your Country:
Single, Dating, Not Dating, Married?
Long Distance Relationship Comments: I have been in a long distance relationship for six years now. We live in different countries. We love each other a lot. We have spoken by phone every day for those six years and we help each other out. I know his friends and family well, and he knows my life well and every corner of my emotions. Even though we love each other, there have been many obstacles. It is almost like we are living double lives, which can be agonizing at times: One has ones family and life at home. And then one has the life, when we are together. For some reason, when I wanted to live together he did not, and when I then wanted to get on with my life, he did not want me to. All though there has been others, we have always seen each others as a couple. A long distance relationship is painful. I think it is also the type of relationship that people, who are scared of taking responsibility choose. But to people who are considering a long distance relationship. It is not worth it. If you do not move country to move in together within the first while of the relationship, leave it. Even if you can handle a relationship like that for a couple of years, it slowly wears you down, little by little. You loose your self confidence and your ability to be happy about the little things in life, because when you are not together you are just waiting for the next time you can be together. You will have a hard time reaching your goals, because you adjust them to the life you might be living in the future in another country. Thereby your life becomes a life half lived.

submitted on June 6, 2006 2:03 AM EDT
Your first name only: leen
Your age: 30
Your U.S. State if any:
Your Country: Lebanon
Single, Dating, Not Dating, Married? simgle
Long Distance Relationship Comments: i went through a long distance relationship, that made me think twice,as i met this guy, he seemed so soft, gentle, romantic, we felt so strong towrds each other, but unfortunatly he is always busy with work, and travells alot, and lives 7 howers away from me, so unless its a vacation we cant see each other, at the begining things were great, we were emailing each other every day, and calling each other,, but after a couple of months things just cool down,although im travelling to go and see him, but he didint even call to confirm that he will be seeing me, and by the way we have only met twice, so we didint sleep togather, he stopped emailing me for a month,, he says he is busy,, i have sent him an email,, that if has something to say he should of say it, as i already booked my flight and the coast of this trip will coast me alot, im travelling in 2 days, didint hear a thing from him, i dont think these distant relation ship can ever work, as men are always draged by emotions,and attraction were they can always find it some were close,, girls are all around,, and not in a distance relation ship.can i get an advice mimi

submitted on June 6, 2006 12:47 AM EDT
Your first name only: Retha
Your age: 37
Your U.S. State if any: IL
Your Country: USA
Single, Dating, Not Dating, Married? Happily Married
Long Distance Relationship Comments: Unless, your mate is in the military and was sent overseas...I don't believe in long distance relationships! Ever! It's just like long, agonizing engagements...either you're going to be together or you're not! I don't think abscence makes the heart grow fonder. Absence, can make the heart grow estranged and desired to seek other interests. I don't know of anyone who has had a successful long distance relationship, unless someone humbled themselves and relocated to be with their mate.

submitted on June 5, 2006 11:57 PM EDT
Your first name only: Tammy
Your age: 29
Your U.S. State if any: AZ
Your Country:
Single, Dating, Not Dating, Married? single
Long Distance Relationship Comments: They're awful! All of my serious relationships have been long-distance, and it always created distrust on my end, because they never emailed back often enough, quick enough, or wrote long enough! So I'd get desperate, and of course they ran. Usually right into another girl's arms. I'm learning a lot from Mimi, but for now, I want someone by my side, not across the country.

submitted on June 5, 2006 9:03 PM EDT
Your first name only: Rosy
Your age: 30
Your U.S. State if any:
Your Country: Costa Rica
Single, Dating, Not Dating, Married?
Long Distance Relationship Comments: Long distance relationships don't work. I met a guy a year ago. However, he is from the USA, and I am from Costa Rica. At the beginning of the relationship everything was very nice, romantic poems, e-mails, and telephone calls almost everyday. Nowadays, we talk to each other every two weeks, and everything is not as romantic and nice as it used to be in the past.

submitted on June 5, 2006 8:37 PM EDT
Your first name only: Shahara
Your age: 36
Your U.S. State if any: New York
Your Country: USA
Single, Dating, Not Dating, Married? Divorced, involved but also free
Long Distance Relationship Comments: I do not see how a long distance relationship can work simply because it is not reality. It is fantasy. It is easy. The relationship is an involved relationship when it is convenient. When one is fed up with the other, he can go into his own long distance world, and yes, this can work with very independent people who want a relationship, but at the same time need their freedom. I am mostly responding to the issue of the man wanting freedom in this long distance relationship. I am responding to any realtionship in which either the man or woman needs time to break away and think. We cannot force anyone to love us. Either they do or they don't regardless of how we feel about them. It is best to let the one you love go no matter how much it hurts because we all deserve to be loved by the one we love. We cannot trap them. They either love us or they do not. Let them go. Go out and see what you have been missing. Do not call the one who has left you. Forget them, and believe me, I am talking from experience. I know this is not easy. You will be surprised what happens when you go on with your life. The one you were so good to, whom you could have given the world to and who you loved with a your heart will come back to you. The question is after meeting all the new people in your life, will you want your old love back when he finally wakes up? Don't be surprised if now you are the one who needs time to think!

submitted on June 5, 2006 8:31 PM EDT
Your first name only: Michelle
Your age: 39
Your U.S. State if any: PA
Your Country: USA
Single, Dating, Not Dating, Married? Dating
Long Distance Relationship Comments: I have been in a long distance relationship for a year now. So far it has been working very well - in fact he told me this weekend that he is in love with me! We have both been very open with each other and have been seeing other people. While I would very much like to be the only woman in his life, and I stopped dating others for a while, I decided that the relationship was off-balance, and started dating again. It is due in large part to your emails that I was able to recognize this, and not feel anger and resentment toward him... but regained the balance in the relationship. It is difficult to schedule our time because our work schedules are very different, but we make the most of the time we have together, always making time for just the 2 of us when we spend time together. It is without a doubt the most amazing relationship I have ever had.

submitted on June 5, 2006 8:28 PM EDT
Your first name only: Marcy
Your age: 48
Your U.S. State if any: Ga
Your Country: USA
Single, Dating, Not Dating, Married? Single
Long Distance Relationship Comments: Long distance relationships are very hard on everyone involved. Generally, they are great for a man. He can live his life through the week as a single guy and his woman will never know the difference.

submitted on June 5, 2006 8:04 PM EDT
Your first name only: Colette
Your age: 35
Your U.S. State if any: Washington, DC
Your Country: USA
Single, Dating, Not Dating, Married? Dating
Long Distance Relationship Comments: I met this young man who is 14 yrs younger than me from a mutual ex-coworker because her boyfriend is his cousin. We have been talking on the phone since August of last year. He is nice, he is not American, I am Dominican and he is Jamaican. His point of view of life is that we get along and he misses having a girl who likes the same interests. I know that he is young and he may want companionship now but he says I am worth the wait. I am seeing him during the Christmas. We exchanged pictures and he is cute. I have to say that I care for him and if it doesn't work out, well it was a nice experience getting to know him.

submitted on June 5, 2006 7:56 PM EDT
Your first name only: Eva
Your age: 27
Your U.S. State if any: TX
Your Country: U.S
Single, Dating, Not Dating, Married? single
Long Distance Relationship Comments: Long distance romances can be very convinient especially if you have a busy lifestyle. I never wanted to be in one but tried it anyway and I fell so much in love with someone 17 hrs away. I got engaged in february to a man who lived in Minnesotta (I live in Texas). We had been dating for 3 years when he asked me to marry him. We both agreed that i was the one to move; practically give up everything including my job and being close to my faily. 2 months down the road in the midst of preparing for our "wedding" he decided that we rushed into marriage and that we need to take a break. My first reaction: I asked if he was seeing someone else. Of course he denied it. We had a heated argument because a few hours earlier he called to let me know how much he loved me and that he misses me a lot, and then he calls later and says otherwise. Crushed, betrayed, cheated, wasted, are all understatements. He did not have the audacity to fly over so he can explain himself. I have then come to conclude based on my experience that I would rather deal with someone that I can physically see so many time a week rather than a weekend a month.

submitted on June 5, 2006 6:14 PM EDT
Your first name only: Brisby
Your age: 42
Your U.S. State if any: SC
Your Country: USA
Single, Dating, Not Dating, Married? Single
Long Distance Relationship Comments: Long distance relationships are hard and they take much work. I have been in a long distance relationship for almost a year now. We live about 6 hours apart. We recently met a couple months ago and spent about three days together. Prior to us meeting he began to change. The quality of our conversation changed along with the frequency. He became distant and somewhat unattached. We still talk everyday but its almost like we are just friends.He no longer talks about us spending our lives together. So, I don't bring it up either. It hurts sometimes and often causes me to lose sleep but I am getting better. Tigress Luv's book how to stop the break up has really help to empower me as a woman.

submitted on June 5, 2006 5:44 PM EDT
Your first name only: Sara
Your age: 24
Your U.S. State if any:
Your Country: Canada
Single, Dating, Not Dating, Married? Committed Relationship
Long Distance Relationship Comments: I am currently in a long distance relationship and have been for the last three years. I met my man in first year University and we became inseperable friends. Although we didn't see it at the time, everyone else saw us as a couple. After first year we took some time off school and lived together in British Columbia for a year and then I returned to school and he went back to his home town (which is two hours from me). I don't know that I have anything negative to say about our relationship. I find that this works best for both of us at the present time. He is busy at work and I have just started my career as a nurse. We see each other every few weeks for the weekend, and talk on the phone three times a week or so. There are still surprises and romance, and whenever we are together, we always get comments on how we are the happiest couple in the room, and I beleive it to be true. i had never imagined myself in a long distance relationship as I always thought that I "needed" someone by my side. Don't get me wrong, I love it when we are together, and when we lived together, it was amazing! However, I know that I don't need him to be there and I think he loves that about me. He knows that I can take care of myself and that impresses him. We have both taken the time to get to know ourselves and figure out what it is we want in life. There is no rush to be together because neither one of us is going anywhere. I know there are temptations out there for both of us, but our relationship is strong and we trust each other. Until there is a reason to raise questions, than it is easy to trust. I was surprised that there are so few positive messages on this board. I have been with my guy for five eyars now, and without doubt can say that if you are strong enough know yourself well, it is possible to have a great long distance relationship.

submitted on June 5, 2006 5:25 PM EDT
Your first name only: Sandra
Your age: 27
Your U.S. State if any:
Your Country:
Single, Dating, Not Dating, Married? Single
Long Distance Relationship Comments: A voice on line can NOT be enough for me.We communicate not only with our voice but we send & receive non-verbal signals with our eyes, hands,& other body parts........I am totally crazy about a guy who lives in another state. I spend much of my time(when we r not talking via phone) thinking about him,wondering wht he's doing & whch woman is trying to CAPTURE him. When he doesnt call I miss him terribly & struggle with the temptation of calling him all the time.He used to ring me spontaeously in the mid of the day to find out how i'm doing but since we began participating in phone sex,he hardly does this at all. I only wanted to keep him satisfied now i think ive made a BIG mistake...long distance relationship? TORTURE!!

submitted on June 5, 2006 5:16 PM EDT
Your first name only: Alexandra
Your age: 29
Your U.S. State if any: São Paulo
Your Country: Brazil
Single, Dating, Not Dating, Married? engaged
Long Distance Relationship Comments: It is an ilusion to say that long distance relationship work, I will tell you why, it is my own experience, my boyfriend was from canada, and i am from brazil, we dated dor about 2 years, now I am in brazil away from him for 7 months, and I got the conclusion that your feelings do not understand why you feel so neddy for someone that is not with you, love do not understand why your mate is so far away, you are loosing the most important moments of your life for someone that is not with you, and these "lost time alone" never can be replaced, because it hapens only once, and furthermore, the real mate in my opinion never stay far from one another, why choose to stay with someone that can not count on you when you the the most need, in order to have someone you can count with it, whenever you need?

submitted on June 5, 2006 4:37 PM EDT
Your first name only: Pam
Your age: 34
Your U.S. State if any:
Your Country:
Single, Dating, Not Dating, Married?
Long Distance Relationship Comments: Absence makes the heart grow fonder...usually for someone else. Don't do it! You can't adequately nurture and grow a relationship from hundreds or even thousands of miles away.

submitted on June 5, 2006 4:15 PM EDT
Your first name only: stephanie
Your age: 43
Your U.S. State if any: Colorado
Your Country: USA
Single, Dating, Not Dating, Married? single
Long Distance Relationship Comments: Never heard of one that worked. Although some men seem to think that when an ex girl friend says she misses him and that she didn't realize how great he was, 10 states away, that gives them reason to believe that she won't move on again...distance is distance and someone said physical contact is important. I couldn't do it, having a partner traveling alot is hard enough - I like the physical aspect too much. Not knowing the what and whoms, and where's would make me crazy

submitted on June 5, 2006 3:58 PM EDT
Your first name only: Alicia
Your age: 20
Your U.S. State if any: California
Your Country: Placer
Single, Dating, Not Dating, Married? single-
Long Distance Relationship Comments: i had joined yahoo personals to test the water after getting out of an 1 1/2 realitionship and met a 28 yr old firefighter though he had an disibailty with his hands missing his finger and lefted with an hang loos sighn for hands and though i accepted him for his flaws as well as his constant drinking i setteled for less there was an 9 hour distant between us and he stated he wanted to put in the effort to make it work. he drove down to see me and on the second day he forced himself onto me then lefted thereafter to san deigo i started to hearless fromhim theree i would have 4 text messages and 3 calls a day to not hearing from this man which has now turned into 5 weeks of sleepless nights. i finally decided to send him an e-mail though i have learned from your daily e-mails not to be to emotional and write something i may latter regrete. i simply stated" why did you USE me" knowing i wanted a serious realitionship that led into something more you forced yourslef on me and lefted driectly there after.i slowly stopped hearing from you to nothing at all. i also stated that" what if some jerk had done this to your sister and the pain she may have felt is what i am going through and that i am someones daughetr someones sister and that it wasn't right of him to "TRY " to hurt me i can now finally sleep at night knowing with just send him an e-mail expressing how it hurts i have finally gotten my closure whether he may read it or not and i am going to be alright and i am not going to settle for less that what i deserve !!!

submitted on June 5, 2006 3:34 PM EDT
Your first name only: Patricia
Your age: 44
Your U.S. State if any:
Your Country: Canada
Single, Dating, Not Dating, Married? Single
Long Distance Relationship Comments: I was in a long distance realtionship with a man from the states.I really thought that he could be my soulmate, after a year of talking on the phone and internet, we decide that it was time for us to meet and I went down to Montana.Well after I got back to Canada,he bailed on me and I was left with a broken heart with him still having a frim grip on it. So No I think a long distance realtionship isn't worth it,why travel to get your heart broken when it can be broken at home for free.

submitted on June 5, 2006 3:15 PM EDT
Your first name only: Jane
Your age: 21
Your U.S. State if any: New York
Your Country: USA
Single, Dating, Not Dating, Married? dating
Long Distance Relationship Comments: Maybe I was too immature, but I tried a long distance relationship after my first year of college. My boyfriend lived in Western PA and I lived in Manhattan. It was a 7hr drive, and we both had busy schedules. Even though it was only summer break (4 months), it was too much for us. We were unable to communicate well, and ended up ruining the relationship we had -- including a very close and caring friendship. I know that long distance relationships can work for some people, but for me, it just highlighted the problems we had and made them more difficult to resolve. I also don't know how realistic it is to be in a long term or permanantly long distance relationship, because if you aren't together, and won't be intimate, why not just be friends? It's just like dating someone who is unwilling to marry you: if it is not going anywhere, why are you making a serious committment? Of course, if you are terribly in love and the relationship has a future, even if it is five years down the line, it is probably worth it simply because truly compatible people are quite hard to come by.

submitted on June 5, 2006 3:00 PM EDT
Your first name only: Mihaela
Your age: 46
Your U.S. State if any:
Your Country: Romania
Single, Dating, Not Dating, Married? single
Long Distance Relationship Comments: well, I have a big dilema : I have a relationship in Germany. We met on Internet , we talked about us for many times , we have a lot of thinks in commom , he has an open mind and a sensitive soul...we are in love now...it is a very beautiful relationship since now , but I am afraid of the distance...will work , I don't know what to do.Both of us are dreaming and we imagine our meeting live...we suffered too much for making games now...please advice me.. Thank you

submitted on June 5, 2006 2:59 PM EDT
Your first name only: Mihaela
Your age: 46
Your U.S. State if any:
Your Country: Romania
Single, Dating, Not Dating, Married? single
Long Distance Relationship Comments: well, I have a big dilema : I have a relationship in Germany. We met on Internet , we talked about us for many times , we have a lot of thinks in commom , he has an open mind and a sensitive soul...we are in love now...it is a very beautiful relationship since now , but I am afraid of the distance...will work , I don't know what to do.Both of us are dreaming and we imagine our meeting live...we suffered too much for making games now...please advice me.. Thank you

submitted on June 5, 2006 2:55 PM EDT
Your first name only: Stephanie
Your age: 40s
Your U.S. State if any: NY
Your Country: USA
Single, Dating, Not Dating, Married? getting done with an endless divorce
Long Distance Relationship Comments: I wouldn't do it.(but never say never) Not because I wouldn't trust him- I'd be lonely. I'd want to know why I'm not with him- why hasn't he asked me- or found a way to be here with me? If we are not ready to try and work that out one way or another, we would not be ready to be however many miles apart and be 2gether. It's almost more of a commitment being apart like that than it is being together. I can't imagine it. Better apart than that torture, I say.

submitted on June 5, 2006 2:42 PM EDT
Your first name only: Missy
Your age: 40
Your U.S. State if any:
Your Country: US
Single, Dating, Not Dating, Married? Dating
Long Distance Relationship Comments: Pros and Cons......Being a single parent for 9 years, I currently enjoy most aspects of a long distance relationship. He is 3 hours away, so we have committed to seeing each other every couple of weeks. I am very busy with my career and raising my child alone so don't really have the time for a "full time" relationship - meaning "daily" dates. The weekends we aren't together, I'm with my child and busy with activities with friends. He's busy with his own life as well. We've been dating for 6 months now and don't really know where this relationship is going or not, but certainly am enjoying his company as he does mine. Don't get me wrong, we have our issues, every relationship does, but communication, trust and respect are key to a long distance relationship - heck this is key to any relationship.

submitted on June 5, 2006 2:40 PM EDT
Your first name only: Kat
Your age: 36
Your U.S. State if any: Oklahoma
Your Country: U.S.
Single, Dating, Not Dating, Married? Married
Long Distance Relationship Comments: I've seen them work before, but they're just not for me. Physical presence means so much!

submitted on June 5, 2006 2:15 PM EDT
Your first name only: Audrey
Your age: 34
Your U.S. State if any: British Columbia
Your Country: Canada
Single, Dating, Not Dating, Married? recently single by choice
Long Distance Relationship Comments: I have been ina long distance relationship for about 1 year. Around the six month mark he "needed a break", so I complied. He had been single for a very long time and I single too for about 13 years. Both of us are not used to having someone else in our homes as well as having to share everything with. As all of this was new to both of us I believed that he just needed time alone to confirm that he did want me in his life. We had challenges from the beginning, I did not sleep with him initially, and when we did sleep together, neither of us had a restful sleep, we were not used to sharing our beds either. I have children, therefore am used to sharing, he on the other hand has none, and has lived alone for over 20 years, so simple things like sharing the veggies from dinner was alien to him. Sometimes we do need to step away from a situation to truly understand if it is right for us.

submitted on June 5, 2006 2:12 PM EDT
Your first name only: Ann
Your age: 50
Your U.S. State if any:
Your Country: USA
Single, Dating, Not Dating, Married? Divorced
Long Distance Relationship Comments: Watch for red flags and check them out.I met this wonderful man everything I desired in a man, we became engaged, He then says his sons didn't want him to remarry, we could just stay engaged, I had only been to his place twice, he had told so I incurred less stress of traveling, and I was moving there, he had me put my business up for sale, bought me a $50,000 diamond ring, very generous, we planned a wedding, he spent all holidays with me and my family, we took trips, but it was all a lie..... there were more than me, by accident (or God protected me) I found him on an online dating service, in a different city, different name and age, same pics though.... I was crushed and still in shock...now in hind sight I see the little red flags I let go by....I think long distance can work, but believe it takes a lot more up front discussion aobut making it work, and lots more investigation as to the credibility of the person. This man was good....when I started asking too many questions he moved on.

submitted on June 5, 2006 2:10 PM EDT
Your first name only: Nancy
Your age: 35
Your U.S. State if any:
Your Country: Mexico
Single, Dating, Not Dating, Married? Single,dating
Long Distance Relationship Comments: I'm having communication long distance with a texan guy. I'm confused he seems a workaholic, and he aske patient in order he can arrange his this in order to come to see me. But HE DON'T say when...

submitted on June 5, 2006 2:07 PM EDT
Your first name only: Svetlana
Your age: 52
Your U.S. State if any:
Your Country: Serbia and Montenegro
Single, Dating, Not Dating, Married? Dating
Long Distance Relationship Comments: I do not what to say. It is very hard to keep the relationship like this to work when the couple is too faraway from each other. I personally do suffer a lot.

submitted on June 5, 2006 2:06 PM EDT
Your first name only: Erin
Your age: 28
Your U.S. State if any: Missouri
Your Country: USA
Single, Dating, Not Dating, Married? Single
Long Distance Relationship Comments: I think they can work depending on the distance and whether or not it is a temporary situation. I mean if it is drivable on weekends, then yeah, why not? If the distance will only last for a few years, then I think that you can make it work also. However, if either of the parties has a jealousy issue, then it will not work. They will always be wondering if the other person is staying true to them.

submitted on June 5, 2006 2:04 PM EDT
Your first name only: Evelyn
Your age: 57
Your U.S. State if any: VA
Your Country: US
Single, Dating, Not Dating, Married? dating
Long Distance Relationship Comments: I had a long distance relationship that didn't seem to work so I broke up with my boyfriend. I started dating a guy 20 min. away from my house (met through match.com) but he has 3 young children-11, 7 and 5) and has full custody of them so there's hardly any time left for us together and job pressure kept him exhausted and stressed most of the time. I sent him 4 dear John emails but he kept coming back but we're quite unclear about our relationship now. I hate the uncertainty of will-he-or-won't-he ask me out this weekend. Started talking to my ex in San Diego again and he said his long-term relationship almost over---the girl moved out most of her stuff but still had some left in his house. He and I really got along and were almost always on the same page with our goals so now I'm in a quandary as to whether I should rekindle this relationship again. He said he still loved me---I broke up with him when the girl found out about our relationship and begged me to give her another chance to make it work or else she'd kill herself. I felt he just abandoned me because of her threats but I followed Tigress Luv's book, in fact one of my letters is quoted in your ads---in short, he is still very much around just waiting for me to open up. His daughters like me and we've been exchanging those mass emails that go around and would make short comments once in a while. I feel this guy is just perfect for me--no more small kids- and lives in my favorite place, San Diego where he owns a condo.

submitted on June 5, 2006 1:55 PM EDT
Your first name only: Suzanne
Your age: 38
Your U.S. State if any:
Your Country: Canada
Single, Dating, Not Dating, Married? Dating
Long Distance Relationship Comments: I too had that "need time to think" thik happen recently, before I started dating "the one" (we hope!) Anyhow I thought I was the diva, however there wa always a crisis with this guy! and the crisis was always the reason he couldn't get down to visit me (first something took him to the opposite end of the province then to another province) ... well it turns out his "divaness" and his need to have "time to think" was he was deciding if he should go back to his exgirlfriend or not (she had treated him like dirt and had an affair) .. funny ... we always want the one back that "did us wrong" ... well now I'm in a relationship with an Adult! He's a great guy, wonderful father to his son (who he has custody of) and makes a point to call me every morning and evening just to say hi and see how my day is ... and I like it! Normally I don't like someone doing that .. he must be special then! My feeling is .. if they have to think about it .. they already made up their mind! She's best to let go!

submitted on June 5, 2006 1:47 PM EDT
Your first name only: Deb
Your age: 50
Your U.S. State if any:
Your Country: US
Single, Dating, Not Dating, Married? single
Long Distance Relationship Comments: Long distance relationships are tough. I miss my guy so much sometimes it hurts, but when we finally do see each other it is fabulous!

submitted on June 5, 2006 1:45 PM EDT
Your first name only: Peggy
Your age: 45
Your U.S. State if any: Florida
Your Country: USA
Single, Dating, Not Dating, Married? dating
Long Distance Relationship Comments: My 5 year long distance relationship was with a professional golfer. I trusted him, but I always was a aware of the fact that women in other cities were always available and I was not. a long distance relationship will only work if it is short term. After a short period of time, the relationship needs to be turned into a no distance relationship or it will fail sooner or later.

submitted on June 5, 2006 1:41 PM EDT
Your first name only: Beth
Your age: 40
Your U.S. State if any: Michigan
Your Country: USA
Single, Dating, Not Dating, Married? Dating
Long Distance Relationship Comments: I dated a man for over a year, and we lived almost 3 hours apart. Doesn't seem like such a great distance, but when every date has to be an entire weekend, it really taxes a relationship. It's great to have a guy locally who you can call and say, "Want to grab a bite to eat tonight?" Or even check in for a booty call once in awhile! I think spontaneity in relationships is important, and there's no way to do that long distance.

submitted on June 5, 2006 1:41 PM EDT
Your first name only: Stacey
Your age: 28
Your U.S. State if any: OR
Your Country:
Single, Dating, Not Dating, Married? Single
Long Distance Relationship Comments: Long distance relationships are not good. The whole point of entering into a commited relationship is to grow CLOSER. If two people aren't able to spend time together learning about each other, then they are eliminating the most important facet of a "relationship." Long distance relationships are asking for trouble unless there is a really strong foundation already built. ie: marriage or a length of time established together with the common goal of resuming that togetherness

submitted on June 5, 2006 1:40 PM EDT
Your first name only: Jan
Your age: 42
Your U.S. State if any: Ohio
Your Country: USA
Single, Dating, Not Dating, Married? Divorced, dating
Long Distance Relationship Comments: I met "Ed" my sophomore year in college. He was a "catch", however, he went to another college about 8 hours from mine. We talked often, wrote long letters, and decided to marry when I graduated (he finished school one year ahead of me). The problem with long distance? It creates a "honeymoon" type of existence....you see each other 1 or 2 weekends a month under seemingly ideal circumstances. There is no way to determine if your attraction is from true compatibility or from just missing having someone in your life. It creates a longing for the other that just isn't realistic. We did marry (and subsequently divorce 15 years and 2 children later), but I realized I just wasn't that attracted to him. I know you have addressed this in other emails. The distance and all it encompasses, keeps real relating and understanding from happening. Being in the same city as your loved one is the ideal situation for getting to know them, to enable you to make an educated decision about your future. I say no to long distance.

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