Be Yourself - Or Be Your BEST Self?

Love, Relationships, Self-Improvement
His Ex Is Still Around
Relationship Advice
Romantic Love Can Be Very Tough
Relationship Problems - Readers Give Relationship Advice
Flaunt Your Feminity or Tone It Down?
Why Do Wives Lose Interest?
Websites and Books on Relationships
No Wife - Controversial Website
Can LDRs Work?
Photos On His Computer
His Wife Has Changed
Meeting In Person
Be Yourself?

"Be Yourself" or Be Your BEST Self?

by Mimi Tanner
There is an everlasting debate about whether you can "be yourself" and let it all hang out and still expect a man to notice you and fall in love with you.

For some reason, the people who proclaim "being yourself" always do this in a loud, angry, and defensive way. They don't sound too comfortable with the results of "be yourself."

So what's better than being yourself?

It's being your BEST self.

Dating - and yes, even married life - is just like any other life situation. The best qualified will get the best results.

When you apply for a job, you don't plan on showing up in shorts and dirty socks - you take it for granted that you will put your best foot forward.

When you plan a romantic evening, you pay attention to your outer beauty. You take a lingering bath, you primp, you take extra care about a lot of things. It's just human nature.

Now for the acid test:

Whatever you're planning on doing - would you do this on your honeymoon?

Would you have this attitude on your honeymoon?

If a problem came up on your honeymoon, you'd handle it with the utmost warmth and graciousness.

On your honeymoon, you generally don't nag, whine, and complain. You are radiant and as loving as you can be - you create memories.

Is that "not being yourself"?

That's being your best self.

For some reason, people think that "being yourself" means being grungy and grumpy if that's you at your worst.

They think deep down that "warts and all" is the only really "honest" presentation.

Some people think that "being yourself" means showing a man ALL your faults - immediately - and having a crying jag on your poor date's shoulder on your first date, before the waiter has even brought the dessert cart.

There are a lot of ways you can "be yourself."

It is not dishonest to be your best self!

Think about it - do you want others to present their "worst" sides to you in a brave show of "honesty"? Or would you prefer to see their strongest points?

Being at your best shows self-respect.

When I was in college, I had a supervisor who was the best in her field. She had tons of energy and excelled in everything she did, because she made it a point to always do her best.

She just turned 90, and she is in beauty contests (and is winning them).

And she has a saying: Life is not a dress rehearsal, so do your best the first time around.

We all can shine if we put in the effort.

It's okay to be your best self... but you have to give yourself permission to be your best - and examine whatever may be holding you back from that.

So don't just "be yourself" in love - be your best self. 

Have a great day, and keep your Flirt on!

With love,
Mimi Tanner
Author of
Hard To Get: The Timeless Art of Conquering His Heart!

Mimi Tanner writes a daily email column on women's relationship concerns. To read more articles like this one, sign up here:

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